users to enable both strip and auto-orient

* federation (ap, salmon)
* media (rich media, media proxy)
* upload (uploader proxy)

Each "part" will stop fighting others ones -- a huge federation outbound
could before make the media proxy fail to checkout a connection in time.

splitted media and uploaded media for the good reason than an upload
pool will have all connections to the same host (the uploader upstream).
it also has a longer default retention period for connections.

[ci skip]

Thanks @href!

Also rename seconds_retained to seconds_valid since that's how it is
now. Put it down from 180 to 20 seconds. The answer data is now
stored in an encrypted text transfered to the client and back, so no
ETS is needed

Fixes #429.